Home

I want to go home
to that place that gives me hope
to that place that promises me a dream
that would come true one day
I want to go back there
and feel that calmness again
where the stars shine on me
and happiness fills me whole
I want to go home
to that love that completes me
to that heart that perfected my soul

Bising

Bunyi itu mengganggu lagi
Aku benci mendengarnya
Memekakkan telinga
Menjadikan aku tak tentu hala.

Aku terus buat tak dengar
Persetankan dia
Aku tidak akan mengalah
Aku tidak akan tunduk pada kemahuannya
Pergi!

****
****
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Aduh!
Berbunyi lagi dia
Salah aku juga
Membenarkan dia begitu
Aku tahu dia tidak akan berhenti
Aku tahu dia akan terus berbunyi

Argh! Akan aku campakkan kau ke dalam tong sampah lepas ni alarm clock!

Hadirmu..

sayang
setiap hari hatiku berbunga

kasih
setiap masa bibirku tersenyum

cinta
aku tenang bersamamu

rindu
hanya kau di hatiku

Hoping for Hope

In reply to Ingrid Van Schlaudraf

Hope is never a good thing
It gives you something to hold on to
A false sense of security
Hope is a belief that blinds you
Holding your hands when you want it to
But in the end
Hope will just walk away
And leave you broken
damaged and hurt.

Hope is the one thing that keeps me alive, but hope is also the one thing that scares me to death, because I know if I fall, I will never be able to get up again...

To Hell With Everyone

I feel so alone
So damn alone!
Why is it that no one wants to listen?
Why is it that no one cares?
Am I asking too much?
Am I really a pain?
I hate you now
I hate everyone
I am alone
I am so damn alone.

Mama

Mama
There are so many things I want to say to you,
So many things I want to tell you,
So many things I want you to know,
And so many things I want share.

But that limitations,
That part where we see different things,
We feel different emotions,
And we connect on different levels,
Those limitations forbid me
And I suffer in silence,
Waiting for that day when you would love me again,
When you would listen to me,
And at least try to understand me.

I love you Mama,
despite everything,
despite those limitations,
I really do love you.

Happy Mother's Day..

Untukmu

Andainya aku seorang pelukis sayang
Akan ku lukiskan padang yang luas untukmu
yang dihiasi warna warni bunga
dengan tabir langit indah berwarna biru
Biar kita tenggelam dalam dunia lakaran itu
Damai dan mendamaikan

Akan ku warnai dunia kita itu sayang
dengan warna warna pelangi
Seindah kasih sayang kita
Sesempurna perasaan cinta kita
Agar kebahagian ini kekal
Seperti lakaran indah itu

Sebuah padang cinta yang luas tidak bertepi

Berwarna warni disulami kasih sayang abadi

Cruel

She looked through the glass
wishing to be there
reaching out to touch the breeze
and dying to breathe the air
Her fingers felt cold
Her skin felt dead
The feeling was so real
She could taste it in her blood

The room was narrow
enclosing her body
there was only darkness
enclaving her like a baby
she suffocated in silence
dreaming to be free
in the coldness she fought
searching for the key

She thought of angels
and heavens and bliss
She thought of forgiveness
and kindness and mercy
She wanted to scream
and weep and cry
But she could only manage
a heavy sigh
She struggled so hard
with nothing to hold
In the end
she bowed to the world
surrendering her soul.


*... she lived her life behind the glass, longing to be free...*

Jangan Pergi

Jangan pergi sayang
Aku tak sanggup berpisah denganmu
Kau hidupku
Kau nyawaku
Kau pelengkap jiwaku
Bagaimana untuk aku hidup tanpamu

Pegang tanganku sayang
Jangan lepaskan
Aku tak mahu ditinggal keseorangan
Aku tak mahu!

Tolong jangan pergi sayang
Jangan tinggalkan aku
Aku tak sanggup kehilanganmu :(

You and Last Night

You started off with soft caressing touch
Lightly venturing every inch of me
You whispered loving words with every kiss
As your lips and your hands roam around free

The kisses were now long and deep
Your soft and light touches turned hot and heavy
You pinned me down hard on the bed
As you continued touching and rocking my body

I matched your rhythm, your breathing and your touch
It was hot, it was lustful, it was impassioned and fiery
I could feel all of you, your desire and your love
And even as I am writing this now
I could still taste you and feel you on me

Traffic Jam

Hujan
Sejuk
Penat
Kereta berlalu bertali arus
Sesak dan menyesakkan

Aku mahukan matahari petang
Aku mahukan ketenangan senja
Aku mahu balik.

Langit Biru

jiwaku tenang, sempurna dan bahagia
menikmati kasih penuh bermakna
serasa langit biru sentiasa
terbentang luas, seluas cinta

hadirmu sayang umpama puisi
menghiasi indah taman di hati
tanpamu hiduku suram dan sepi
ucapan kasihmu puisi abadi

Yang Pertama

Dia perempuan itu
Yang mahu mengambil hak jiwaku
Masih terngiang sindiran sinisnya
Masih kedengaran cerita cintanya
Betapa dia bangga menjadi yang pertama
Dan aku, aku hanya sisa
Cintaku cinta kedua
Yang tak punya makna

Aku benci dia
Walau sesaat kehadirannya
Mentertawakan aku
Takkan ku lupa kisah cintanya
Betapa aku ini hanya yang kedua
Dan dia,
Dia akan tetap menjadi yang pertama

Aku benci dia.

The Promise

Promise looked me in the eyes and lied to my face;
Promise took me by the hand and led me to a missing place;
Promise picked me up, then he let me down
Promise talked and talked, but he never made a sound
Promise shook my hand, then he turned and walked away
Promise filled my heart with hope that turned into depressing pain
Promise was my friend, but then he told me lies
Now, with promise by my side,
each day consist of disappointing sighs..

Bukan Aku

Malamku sunyi
Hatiku bercelaru
Jiwaku kosong

Sedih
Rindu
Hampa
Kecewa

Kenapa aku rasa begini?
Bukankah ini keputusan ku?
Bukankah ini kemahuan ku?

Logik akal fikiran tidak sama dengan kehendak jiwa dan hati...

Benci

Aku benci lelaki itu
Mengambil kesempatan atas kelemahan kaumku
Lelaki yang hanya pandai bermain kata
Tidak punya perasaan
Tidak punya emosi
Hanya satu kehendak
Satu kemahuan

Aku benci lelaki itu
Lelaki yang hanya mahu seks
Yang hanya mahu puas
Yang gila mengikut nafsu

Aku benci lelaki itu

Aku benci

5 minutes of Serenity

Ku nyalakan api
Ku biarkan ia terbakar

Satu
........
Dua
........
Tiga
........

Sedutan yang penuh nikmat
Hembusan yang terus menghayalkan

Aku tenang..

I wish

I wish to have a white canvas before me
And a box filled with mystical colours
So I can paint my life the way I want it to be
And have that moment for once on a bed of roses

I wish to have the book of my life before me
And a pen sent from Heaven
So I can rewrite what has been written
And live life again on the path that I have chosen